They say that when you have a second baby, it will all come flooding back: memories of sleepless nights, the crying without known cause, the hormones, running the gauntlet of putting a baby down in a crib. They are wrong because that’s not been true for me.
Before starting today’s blog I had a look through some of the pieces I wrote early in our days with Nell. Not only was I struck by the way my writing tone has evolved over the last four years, but by how little I can recall of my emotions during that time. This morning, while trying to put a brave face on my exhaustion I asked Husband:
Did Nell sleep better than Roo at this age? I’m sure she would go at least three hours between waking, right?
Unfortunately it’s not something I wrote about when she was a newborn so I don’t think I’ll ever remember. I can only assume that, as it’s not commented on within my blogs, that she did. Roo, does not. Last night I got 2 hours and 1 hour then 30 minutes. On the plus side, it sounds like it’s easier to get him to sleep in the first place. Swings and roundabouts!
In general, Reuben is a very different specimen from Nell. Aside from the obvious ‘maleness’ of him, he is a far calmer baby. He rarely cries and is happy to be left alone staring at the ceiling while I wee. Nell wouldn’t let me put her down for a moment (according to my blogs). He is gaining weight faster than she did, I think he eats more regularly, and his poo has far more substance to it. Yes, poo is back on my agenda! He does appear to have reflux, but I don’t believe it’s due to an allergy as Nell’s was, so I’m hopeful it will pass in time.
There’s not much more I can say about him at the moment. As with all newborns, his personality is yet to emerge. I don’t know if he prefers Peter Rabbit or Winnie the Poo, and I can’t tell if he’s going to be a cheeky chappy or a serious Simon. All I can say is that he’s very cuddly and seems happiest curled up on my, or Husband’s chest.
So let me comment on the child that I can talk about: Not so Little Nell. Well, people said that the sibling often acts up, but I had convinced myself that we could cheat this phenomenon by declaring our love for her loudly and frequently. How wrong was I!? From the moment Roo was born, a little demon took residence in our older child’s body. This demon refused to acknowledge me, it threw things rather than placed them, it cried… a lot, and it begged for attention with acts such as peeing on the bathroom floor, inches away from the toilet. It’s been testing and has caused me to lose my temper with her, properly, for the first time ever. Man, did I feel mum guilt after that! She was so put out by the event that she took herself to her bedroom and fell asleep naked on top of her bed at 4pm. If it wasn’t so sad it would have been cute.
Thank God, four weeks later, the Nell I know seems finally to be winning the battle and regaining control from said demonic creature. She is now sweetly making us imaginary ‘steaming hot egg soup’ and bringing it to us to eat in bed, or giving her brother soft cuddles on the sofa. She tells us she loves us in the morning and asks for my opinion on her choice of dress for the day. I’m hopeful that she has turned a corner, then again, I’ve seen The Exorcist. I know that demons can pretend to be innocent, lulling you into a false sense of security before striking a fatal blow…
(disclaimer: I’m aware that Nell doesn’t have an actual demon inside her).
Parenting a second newborn is funny, without the hahas. There’s a strong sense of de ja vous pushing a pram around village and wiping milky vomit off of clothes, but it’s also entirely foreign. I wish I could remember what I felt when Nell was a month old, instead I can say how I feel now, as Reuben hits that magical milestone. I am shattered. Tired beyond tired and wondering if I’ll ever feel awake again. What I do recall is my baby Mantra. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I will not be waking event 90 minutes for the rest of my life. I will one day enjoy drinks out with friends again. And until then, I shall make the most of every cuddle and snuggle, and moment of sleep, I can snatch with my baby, and his big sister.
The Honest Parent 