A pregnancy isn’t (usually) just about the mother-to-be, so I would be remiss to not offer Husband an opportunity to have his say on this blog from time-to-time…
Introducing… Husband….
As I write this I’m sitting with my feet up and watching the FIFA World Cup final between France and Croatia. I’m having some “me time”. I’ve worked hard recently and clocked up many hours and miles in the car travelling between Buckinghamshire and Kent while juggling the pressures of work. I think I’ve earned my quiet time – I’m not asking for a medal or anything but I am content.
Obviously with a beautiful (she will be, I already know this) baby girl on the way, life is changing and will soon be beyond recognition from what it was at the turn of the year. Making the most of little pressures and responsibilities seems ok right now. While I can be a little selfish with my time, I will.
You may have gathered from previous posts on here that I am rather excited about becoming a father. I’ve always wanted to have children and I am thrilled that we are on this journey. I hear what everyone says and – without wishing to sound blase – I completely agree: Life really never will be the same again.
I do have one fairly weighty concern though about what is to come. For the last few years I have battled with anxiety and low mood. I’m quite open about this. There is no secret as far as I am concerned. Mental health has a horrible and naive stigma attached to it but I’m not ashamed. Why should I be? We all struggle from time to time, I’m just one of the unfortunate few who suffers more than others.
However, I am truly blessed to have a wonderful network of family and friends around me offering support. I know I am in good hands. My “wobbles” as I refer to them are exactly that. They are infrequent. They don’t stop me from enjoying myself in good company and they certainly don’t hinder me carrying out my professional duties. When you spend your day with 30 enthusiastic children as a primary school teacher you can’t help but smile and enjoy life!
My concern is what happens when these wobbles arise as a father? Will it be selfish to think of myself when I have my own offspring to think of? Looking even deeper, am I even being selfish now asking this question, thinking about myself in a time when I should be focusing on the health of my wife and future child?
The truth is I don’t really have a conclusion. All I can say for certain is that anyone who responds with words to the effect of “Man up and get over yourself” will be met with incredibly short shrift from myself. I appreciate not everyone understands what anxiety feels like and for those of you who fall into that bracket, I envy you.
The questions remain: Are these selfish feelings? Should I be trying a different tact to avoid these problems? Am I worrying about nothing?
The Honest Parent 