This morning I waved Husband goodbye as he went off to his first day of work at his new 
school (the wave was from bed as he left at the ungodly hour of 6.30am). I was pleased to see that he left with a spring in his step, excited for a new term and for the Inset Day that precedes the day when the children return. I expect tomorrow morning will be slightly more nerve-wracking!
Having had Husband at home for the past six weeks is my main excuse for having not blogged. I’ve been busy enjoying my last period of peace and quiet with him (October half-term holiday notwithstanding). The other reason was that, after all the drama of the first half of this pregnancy, things started to settle down and there seemed little of interest to report. Now though, 12 weeks!!! from due date, it is time to start shopping – and that always brings fresh levels of fun.
I have seen many, many friends go through this time and it interests me watching how each handles it differently. It’s almost like going to a wedding when you’re engaged and thinking which bits you might want to take for your own event and which you will look to avoid. Some have bought everything new and swish, others have bought everything new but cheap, the final group have opted for cheerfully second hand.
We are plumping, primarily, for cheerfully second-hand bar a few things (and massive thanks to those lovely people loaning us their items). The pram will be new, a gift from Husband’s parents, and my Mother has also selected some items she and her partner would like to buy us. So now, it’s time to ride the shopping train for the best second-hand bargains possible and to up-cycle changing tables and cots (I have my own cot from 32 years ago, but a paint job is def needed).
Here’s the thing. Beyond the pram, car seat (which combined can set you back multiple-hundreds of pounds) and the sleeping box/basket for the first few months, knowing how much or how little to buy is a quagmire. And, much like the wedding industry, the baby market has been designed to make you buy EVERYTHING.
Do I want bamboo breast pads or silicone ones?!
We went to a Mothercare evening recently and were told that yes, we could buy the £27.99 audio baby monitor, but we might be better getting the £170 movement-detecting one. Yes, we could base our judgement of the clothes she will wear on common sense, but would we forgive ourselves if she overheated? No way! Best buy a £30 thermometer which will help keep her within an acceptable 2-degree temperature range. Don’t try to get by packing Spawn’s bits in an existing backpack or saddle bag, you simply won’t survive without the super-pockets found in these top-of-the-range changing bags! On the plus-side, that evening came with free orange juice and sausage rolls. Husband filled his boots.
Side note: have you seen these expanding children’s clothes? Imagine if they did this for baby rompers… they may not be pretty, but could save you so much…
Comparing the baby industry to the wedding one a final time, I (and I know others will vehemently disagree) find it slightly uncomfortable that Amazon and stores like John Lewis now encourage you to create a gift wish-list to share with friends and family. I admit it, we have done one but I argue I am using it more as a guide for things we plan to buy rather than something we will send to our loved ones alongside a message saying: “Having you as a family/friend is enough of a gift to us, but should you want to buy something for our future child, here’s a list to buy from….” Now I’m going to back-pedal and admit I would send it to people (so they have a guide on what we need) but that’s where my discomfort comes in, to me, it would feel like we were specifically saying, we expect/assume you will buy us a gift.
Never assume. To assume makes an ass out of you and me (my favourite phrase ever).
I completely see why some people might love them; I’ve heard a number of mums saying they got multiple versions of present X and had to pretend they hadn’t. A gift list should/would prevent that. If and when people do/have bought us/Spawn gifts it’s been lovely and I am always genuinely grateful. I’m truly sorry if I sound unappreciative because trust me, I’m not. I just don’t want people to feel they have to spend money, especially when they don’t get much from it themselves. It’s not like they’re getting a wedding meal, cake and DJ-awesomeness for their trouble! The best I can offer is a snap of said item in use and whole heaps of thanks.
Given the shopping time is beginning now – who doesn’t love shopping? – and I am hitting up my first ‘Nearly-New Sale’ this coming weekend, I’d love to know what you consider the single most essential item (beyond the pram/car seat/beside the bed box) is. Also – the silliest thing you’ve seen or been encouraged to buy. Share them with me and I can get it on, or keep it off, that Amazon list asap!
The Honest Parent 